fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
