I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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