I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
