YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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