So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
