My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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