You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize