Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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