Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swine flu is the new snow day.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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