just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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