If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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