I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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