a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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