Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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