do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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