After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
