Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I want her autograph on my taint
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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