There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
They took my balls.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
