Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
