i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
