What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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