im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
