shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
