why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
