...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
