Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
