at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Randomize
