Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
