OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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