I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
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