that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
