Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
