in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize