I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
