Hey man sorry I got all grabby
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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