He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
