I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
