I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
