Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
