i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
