school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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