It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
