If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
