Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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