What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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