he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
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dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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