I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
