My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
It's shark week go big or go home
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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