I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
my poor anus
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
