My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
