Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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