Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
