I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
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