She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
