Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
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