remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
