Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
