Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
