Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
