Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Michael Bay diarrhea
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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