So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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