who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
