ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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